Parents want their children to be happy and successful in life. However, to become successful, you need to have a positive mindset. The language you use can significantly impact your thoughts and decisions. Ideally, we would all like to adopt a growth mindset, focusing on improving daily. However, this is easier said than done.
Pause momentarily and think about how you communicate with your child at home. Let’s assume your child takes cookies from the cookie jar even though they’ve exceeded their daily allowance. How do you respond to them? You’re probably using language like, “Don’t do that.” Or perhaps you’re telling them to “Stop it.”
Now, think about how much success your method is having. Has your approach stopped your child’s undesired behaviors? The answer is likely no. That’s because children often struggle to understand negative language. They often misconstrue sentences, missing out on words like don’t or stop.
So, how do you remedy the situation? We’ve prepared some tips to help you use positive language at home with your children. You can witness the results yourself.
How to Use Positive Language at Home
Here are some ways that parents can use positive language with their children at home:
Change Your Tone and Approach
The first thing you’ll want to do is consider changing your tone and approach. For instance, consider getting to the same level and making eye contact with your child when giving them directions or instructions. Communicate with them clearly and calmly. Refrain from showing frustration or anger.
Replace Don’t with Do
As stated above, children often misconstrue negatives. Hence, it’s crucial to replace don’t with do in your vocabulary. Instead of telling your child what not to do, tell them what they can do. Let’s assume your child starts coloring on your kitchen cabinets. Refrain from telling them to stop coloring the kitchen cabinets. Instead, tell them to color in a coloring book.
Use “First-Then” Language
Using “first-then” language with your children can have great results. For instance, let’s assume your child wants a sweet treat. However, they’ve not had a shower yet. Consider telling them to shower first. Then they can get a sweet treat.
Offer Children Choices
Offering children choices is an excellent way to make them feel in control. Children are more likely to comply when they feel they’re the ones making a decision. Hence, try giving your child two choices. They’ll eventually choose one.
Give Your Child Time
Your child might not respond to your request or instructions immediately. However, there’s no reason to lose your cool over it. Most children take three seconds to process words. Therefore, you’ll want to give them some time to think about what you’ve just said. If they still don’t respond to your instructions or request, repeat yourself calmly.
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